The past two days have been pretty difficult for my family. My mom called me two days ago to let me know that my dog, Jenny, was unable to walk. Just weeks ago, I was in Los Angeles and she was attentive, playful, and walking (albeit with some difficulty). But in the weeks that followed, her health has deteriorated.
Jenny had been floor bound for almost two days now . With my parents extremely concerned, they called me to arrange a visit with her veterinarian. That morning, I booked an appointment with Dr. Fred, her veterinarian, and arranged for Jenny's pick up from our home.
Hours later, Dr. Fred called me to inform me of her condition. He explained that Jenny was running a fever, but more seriously, had paralysis in her hind legs. He was confident that the fever could be brought under control but believed that the chances of her walking were slim to none.
After explaining the situation to my mom, I made the decision to have Jenny put to sleep. I felt it was the right thing to do for Jenny and my parents. I believed it selfish to attempt to save her when her body is failing so quickly. The most difficult part of the decision is making it knowing that she was the same puppy I knew, on the inside. That puppy of so long ago was trapped inside an aging body unable to withstand the test of time.
I wish that I could have been there for her, to hold and comfort her. I would have liked to have shared her last moments on this earth. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible and all I can do now is mourn. I was fortunate to have spent 10 years of my life with her, and have wonderful parents to take such good care of her in her old age.
Looking back a couple of weeks ago, I took for granted the limited time I had available with her. I should have spent more time with her, to let her know how much she meant to me.
She loved me so unconditionally, it was clear as day. Each time I'd come home to visit, she'd always be ready to greet me with that large broom-like wagging tail and an aging but still beautiful smile. Her eyes, so deep with the emotion she felt, were completely transparent; letting you see right through to her heart.
Unfortunately, we live and we die. This was the right decision. I couldn't live with the thought that she'd spend her last months on the cold hard floor. I loved her so very much, I only wish I had a way to express it beyond these silly words.