My friend Edward called me to give me a hard time about my blog, claiming that I was ridiculous for putting these thoughts out for the world to see.
At this point in my life, I don't care what people think. I share these thoughts because it provides me a way to reflect. It also gives me the opportunity to get feedback from people completely outside of my circle of friends and removed from the situation.
One change that I am going to stick to is not filtering my thoughts once I get into a relationship. When I began dating Sharon, at some point, I started to feel as though it was inappropriate to share my thoughts and feelings. I believe, now in retrospect, that this was a mistake.
I'm in Los Angeles for the long weekend and I've been hanging out with my family and friends. It's nice to know that I'm still disgusted with LA :)
I look forward to getting back to SF. I need to get my life back in order. Before I left, I dropped off my rent for July, coupled with a letter to my landlord. I asked him if he would consider lowering the rent so that I might stay there. I am doubtful that he will do so, even though he likes me as a tennant.
That probably means that in the coming months, I shall be moving elsewhere in the city. I'm not quite sure where I'll move to, but somewhere sunnier for sure. I feel a little afraid. For the first time in my life, I will be living completely on my own.
I am especially in an awful mood this morning. I awoke due to a dream where Sharon admitted to having an encounter with another man in Europe. The thought of it sickened me. I felt ill and enraged when I woke up.
I can already tell that getting over this relationship is going to be a long and winding road. Ugh.