Monday, October 28, 2002

TPS Reports

So yeah... uhhh.. yeah. I noticed something today. I've gotten real good at writing complete bullshit. Well, not complete bullshit, but the kind of bullshit that is important within a company like AOL. Over the past year, one of the few realizations I've made in this company is that people expect you to write a LOT of documents.

I was thinking about it today, why the fuck do I have to write all these documents. My best guess is so that people's asses are covered for when some thing really bad happens. I presume they want to have some level of accountability and paper trails are pretty good at doing that, keeping people accountable, that is. Doesn't necessarily mean it's the right thing to do but eh, what are you gonna do.

Back to my point, I'm pretty good at writing these docs. It's kinda like I found a groove. I know how to write them such that with every new document I have to create, it gets easier and easier. It's almost like a skill that you practice more and more. I haven't really made up my mind if this is all a good thing or not yet.

It could be a good thing cause it's easier for me to represent Winamp within AOL, it could be a bad thing cause I might get lost within the system. Who knows. Someone today in IRC told me that all I gotta do is stay true to my friends and keep representing, not in those words but the basic thought is pretty true. It's all a matter of, do they think you're a sell out. I don't know if I am. Some might say I am, am i? I don't know.

The other thing I thought about, just now, while I was in the shower. What's going on with blogs. What I mean by that is, when the fuck did this become a mainstream thing? My girlfriend even has a blog, and a year ago, she didn't even like computers.

I remember in high school (mind you, that was about 5 years ago) people thought I was weird for writing so openly on the internet for everyone to see. They were wondering why I would share my thoughts the way I do with millions of people I don't know. Why do I do it? It makes me feel good. Besides, I don't think of all the people who are reading my .plan's when I'm writing them, well, not usually at least. I just write what is on my mind, and sometimes, people chime in and tell me that they are thinking the same thing, or going through something very similar. That's when I realize how cool this whole internet thing really is.

So maybe that's it. Maybe that's why people write in blogs, because they want the random feed back of their readers, the reassurance that they are not alone and that there are people, elsewhere in the world that are going through or thinking the same exact thing. I guess that's pretty powerful.

I wish I wrote in my .plans more often. I mean, this was such a great way for me to be straight with myself. I used to write about anything here. It didn't matter who it was about or what it was about. It was just my place to do a brain dump. I miss that. I think I've just been to caught up in work.

By the way, everyone, it was Justin's birthday 14 days ago. If you haven't already, wish him a very happy fucking birthday. He deserves it. He can be a bitch sometimes (as can I) but I consider myself very lucky that I have a friend like him. Happy Birthday Justin.

Also, on another note, it was Steven B's birthday 2 days ago. I sent him a belated happy birthday email. I miss him, he's such a good guy. I wish that we had the opportunity to hang out more often. It's a shame that I live so far away from everyone that I hang out with. Maybe some day I'll live in the city, god knows I'll be kicking and screaming my whole way there.

Okay, time for bed me thinks.


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